it’s been a while since i’ve posted anything on here. it’s now 2012. Happy 2012. Fuck 2011. No seriously, fuck it. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Career-wise, not a great year for me, let’s be honest. On the upside, T and I got married! 

i learnt a lot of important lessons last year. How one shouldn’t be cocky - that there is no certainty in the surest of situations; how you CAN speak your mind against the system, that you’re your own CEO and no one should ever make you feel unempowered; how working hard gets you nowhere, it’s all about who you know and the relationships you create in the workplace - yes, even in medicine, it gets dangerously political. 

i knew that when i decided to do med, it was going to be one of the hardest things i’d ever do in my life, and if i made it out okay or garnered great success from it even, i would have accomplished something big. Still, I was so naive. So naive in thinking that med school was it. That all I had to do was graduate and it was going to be a free ticket to success. Yet it was mere months ago that I was in danger of being unemployed this year. UNEMPLOYED. wow. Never expected that would happen.

Coupled with the fact that I met some pretty mean snakes in my job, I started to feel really disillusioned about medicine. How can a caring profession like this be so fake and nepotistic? Aren’t your superiors supposed to mentor you instead of tearing you down?And this insular world that is medicine - you can’t be honest with how you truly think/feel lest word spread and affect your reputation. And yet there’s supposedly a camaraderie here? Who thinks this shit up??  

So, the road ahead is pretty hazy right now. I know i need to commit to something fast, otherwise, every year I waste, more competitors come biting at my heels. 

Going to work really hard at staying competitive this year.