T and I often have discussions about our committment to Medicine. Like it’s the third party. And boy what a third party. How much are we going to let it consume our lives.

I think the biggest question/dilemma about medicine revolves around residency vs consultancy. Your lifestyle as a registrar and as a consultant can be vastly different. The virtue of ‘delayed gratification’ is often expounded. I’m just worried I don’t have that many years left to delay. If I died tomorrow, would I be happy, would I have lived a fulfilled life then?

What a question. And how can I honestly say yes.

And this would be the reality I would be confronted with every day of my residency. No. No. No. I will not put up with the shit that goes with surgical training. Beggers can’t be choosers? Well I will. not. beg. No. i will not do surgical audits, will not be micromanaged, i will not be running clinics, i will not dance for you on stage in ‘theatre’. NO. fuck you surgery. No. Enough is enough. Fuck your egos. ENOUGH.

One day I will perhaps do an audit to find out the number of surgeons who have happy functioning lives, just out of curiosity and maybe out of spite. 

The point is, residency is 5 years of your LIFE. Why would I want to go through 5 good years of my youth feeling miserable and down about my worth as a human being when I can be in a speciality where I am, and feel supported? No one in surgery can truly say they’re happy come on. Unless you’re that blinded and one-track minded, no one can truly say that they are living the dream! Sooner or later, everything is a much of a muchness, would you still get the same thrill out of doing the same procedures over and over again? Something has got to keep you going. Something has got to compensate for the shit lives you lead, that’s why you eat the souls of junior doctors. It’s the only explanation! 

A few events this year have straightened me out. My advice to those of you who are thinking of doing medicine, reaally take stock of who you are as a person and what kind of life you lead. There is a lot of unglamorous shit work in medicine and unless you are sure what you want in life, it will break you. There are easier ways to make a good living and medicine is not it.